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I'm going to start attaching cards that say "Thank you for being a friend." on every gift I give from now on. I'm kind of pissed that that's not already standard operating procedure.

In other news: Miles from the Golden Girls was a fucking garbage piece of shit and Rose could do way better.

The moral of Planet of the Apes is that if you crash land on a planet where everyone is speaking English that should probably be your first clue that you're on Earth, asshole.

Sat up in bed this morning, biting my lip, feeling illegally homosexual.

Fortunato is stored in the walls.


Well, I made something.

Before you listen, a bit of an explanation: Vaporwave is kinda all about contrasts and lies, cheery empty future promises. Thinking back on 2000s era for me felt like that but more present, happy pop music and sitcoms with a constant background fear everyone was trying not to think about. I tried to emulate that contrast in this:

It probably needs more work, but I kinda ran out of time on it (going on vacation today)

i wish mastodon supported different types of file types beyond image and video. like, how dope would it be to drop a processing file in a toot and have it render? or even just an audio file? a single-page self-contained html file that opens in a modal? there are so many things that could be done with this platform to turn it into one for creators that rivals other platforms.

Siri google does sonic tuck when he rolls fast or does he constantly slam his nuts into the ground I SAID SEND IT

the secret strat for having the optimal masto experience 

Who the fuck called it “Confession” and not “Curious Catholic”

Boost for being nonbinary, & presenting however the FUCK you want

high tooting 

Just add flaccid to the end of any measurement, it's instantly more hilarious

I’m a bitch
I’m a lover
I’m a child
I’m a mother
I’m a Sovereign Citizen of the United States
Am I Being Detained?

sorry to impose but could u boost some of my toots I’m new to knzk and wanna make friends

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