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Someone asked the devil, "What if Santa Claus was a sexy divorcée?" and Paul Hollywood appeared full-grown in a tent in England.

I was stoned as hell when I wrote this, but I'll laugh if it happens.

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my prognostication: Abbi Jacobson is going to primary Carolyn Maloney in 2020.

Doesn't matter how old and cynical I get, I'm still a sucker for a Gaga bridge.

The builders of the Tower of Babel did nothing wrong

Google's panopticon 

Google is a terrifying company, but the fact that they've absorbed every drop of my life for ten years means they can translate the backwards way my brain stores information into a usable form:

Cat being cute 

My boyfriend has sacrificed his laptop to finch videos to keep Murray from torturing him. Murray keeps looking behind the screen like, "Where the hell are they?"

meta 

I am seeing a Take lately that is basically “the problem is people putting too much emotional investment into their online life.”

I just want to point out that, for some people, online communities are the place where they can actually find other people who are like them.

For example, If you are queer and live outside of a major city, it can be rather difficult to find a community of other queer people, in person.

There is nothing wrong or unhealthy about finding that community digitally.

I'm going to start attaching cards that say "Thank you for being a friend." on every gift I give from now on. I'm kind of pissed that that's not already standard operating procedure.

In other news: Miles from the Golden Girls was a fucking garbage piece of shit and Rose could do way better.

The moral of Planet of the Apes is that if you crash land on a planet where everyone is speaking English that should probably be your first clue that you're on Earth, asshole.

Sat up in bed this morning, biting my lip, feeling illegally homosexual.

Fortunato is stored in the walls.

@dayglochainsaw

Well, I made something.

Before you listen, a bit of an explanation: Vaporwave is kinda all about contrasts and lies, cheery empty future promises. Thinking back on 2000s era for me felt like that but more present, happy pop music and sitcoms with a constant background fear everyone was trying not to think about. I tried to emulate that contrast in this:

instaud.io/2HFa

It probably needs more work, but I kinda ran out of time on it (going on vacation today)

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